I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
