Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize