she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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