yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
