you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm at about main and main street
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
