If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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