I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
