but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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