1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
