wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
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Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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