I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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