I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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