Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
