We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
