her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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