You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
