Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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