I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
