I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
