I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
