U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
