It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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