me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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