4 words: hood of his car
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
