I am in a vortex of obligation.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How naked do you want me to be?
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