lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
