yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
