That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
