New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
