it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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