you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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