I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
