Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
