I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize