You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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