you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude i'm inner monologue high
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
