Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
