Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
