Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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