party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
