I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
