I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
