I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
