Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
