you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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