eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
