I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
