Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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