he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
