In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
