Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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