awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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