She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
