so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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