It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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