so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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