i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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