That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
